Your Daily Reminder of the Cruelty of the Universe

I bought a KitKat bar because Google is running a promotion for the release of the new version of Android. You can win a Nexus 7 by entering a code you find on the inside of the chocolate bar’s wrapping, like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but with less child endangerment. But there was no code in mine.

Damn you, KitKat, I broke my vow not to eat transfats any more because of you. How dare you not reward me for this sacrifice.

Okay, fine, I already have a Nexus 7 but this is still definitely a miscarriage of justice. You will rue this day in the future, KitKat.

News from Gransys

Important news from Dragon’s Dogma:

Throwing rabbits off a cliff

You can throw rabbits off a cliff.

I spent twenty minutes last night doing so.

There’s a quest for killing 45 rabbits, but mostly I did it because it was funny.

Their terrified squeaking was hilarious.

That is all.


I submitted this to the Capcom Dragon’s Dogma website and when I woke up a whole bunch of Japanese people had clicked Like on my screenshot. I guess Asians are united in their hatred of lapines.

New Game Minus

I just got Dragon’s Dogma, which basically means for the next month I’ll only be leaving the house for work and buying groceries. Mostly I got it because it was free on PS+ and I was hoping for some kind of hybrid of fighting game combat and RPG adventuring like I mentioned here. I didn’t get my wish, but I do still like the game.

The combat so far reminds me of Dynasty Warriors. There are special moves but mostly I’m hacking and slashing over and over. Possibly I should try out the rogue or the mage. I’ve only had one God of War fight against a gigantic beast and I was mostly wondering what the hell was going on, after which I won. Fights don’t seem especially difficult yet so I’m thinking I’ll try Hard mode. On a scale of one to ten, ten being Tekken‘s online mode, I would rate the combat difficulty as a three.

However, the game is still pretty damn fun. I’m a sucker for RPGs, especially the open world type, and this hits that sweet spot of stamp collecting and mathematical progression. It’s not a game for playing for short periods, though, you need several hours to properly get into the groove.

The pawn system is great, at least in theory. Your character has a sidekick and can also hire more minions, which are actually the sidekicks created by other players. Pawns only level up when their creator plays so you’re forced to keep replacing your employees. However, most players either half-ass the design of their pawns or they should be arrested for crimes against fashion. I was up until 1 AM last night looking for pawns to hire and I freely admit I was entirely superficial in my hiring criteria. “Too fat. Too short. Name has numbers in it. Outfit looks like shit.”

Speaking of which, who else out there just got Dragon’s Dogma on PS+? Because I hereby propose a pawn exchange. Someone hire my pawn, I spent a long time customizing her to get the right look. She’s a Strider with only the basic gear so far, but I love her like my own daughter. I release her into your care.

PSN: Armacen

Return to Spice World

Following on from this post two days ago, I fired up the old YouTube to see if the original music video for Wannabe passes the nostalgia test.

Good holy god it goddamn doesn’t. The Spice Girls look like utter skanks. I keep expecting one of their chav boyfriends to wander into frame and punch one of the waiters. I’m astounded that I was ever attracted to them. The only one I still dig today is Scary Spice, but she was my favourite back in the day as well.

I acknowledge that I’m being rather classist and even somewhat sexist in my feelings. I can’t help my visceral reaction. But it’s a sad day when you discover you were actually pretty dumb as a kid.

Roma Victor

Redeemed: Attain 100% in the Single Player Game Completion Stat

So I’ve finished everything that can be finished in the single player campaign of Red Dead Redemption. I feel hollow inside, like I’ve gained nothing but a temporary and meaningless accomplishment. I must play more video games to distract me from this realization.

Morituri te salutant

Last night I saw a mouse ducking under the stove as I walked into the kitchen. Thirty minutes ago I set a mouse trap and baited it with peanut butter.

So begins a contest of wills between man and beast. This will only end in the destruction of one or the other – to the victor, glory; to the loser, death.

Alien Nation

I’ve recently installed this Spanish-language trivia game on my phone out of guilt at the deterioration of my fluency en castellano. However, I’ve discovered that I know very little of Spanish pop culture and don’t possess the general bits of knowledge that someone immersed in the Hispanosphere would pick up over the course of their lives. The questions consist of examples such as, “So-and-so is married to this famous actor” and neither the clue nor any of the potential answers are people I’ve ever heard of. That or I get something like, “Such-and-such island is part of this grouping: A)The Balearics, B)The Azores, or C)The Canary Isles”. Oh yes, did I mention that the game is mostly geared toward Spaniards?

The best I’ve gotten is 50% correct and you can bet I earned the hell out of that D- rating. I suppose it’s not the game’s fault it’s not aimed for a Canadian English audience. I am somewhat surprised to discover that Family Matters and Urkel’s catch phrase are considered a common reference point in Spain. Oh well, at least I can feel like I’m doing something with my Spanish skills.

And in case you were wondering, Steve Urkel’s signature phrase is rendered as ¿He sido yo? in the language of Cervantes.


Did you know that the History Channel’s new shows based on the Bible and on Vikings kicked the living crap out of the other shows on TV that night? Ratings-wise, I mean. Still, several wags in the comments on that article continue to insist that Jesus was a zombie.

Clearly that is untrue. Jesus came back from the dead, sparkled in the sunlight, and drinking his blood transformed people into his minions. He was obviously a vampire.