To reach the unreachable star

Via Foreign Policy, behold: a human interest puff piece from a reporter asking Chinese school kids what they want to be when they grow up. Most of the answers are boring and predictable, but one precocious little girl reveals the dark underpinnings of our dog-eat-dog society:

“I want to be an official”
Reporter: “What kind of official?”
“A corrupt official, because corrupt officials have a lot of things.”

I wish my guidance counsellor had told me this was an option.

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What the butler saw

See also what Ned Stark was reduced to.

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Q: What’s the male equivalent of a cougar?

A: A mid-life crisis.

- The Onion A.V. Club

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Batman: The Rom-Com

No comment.

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Shakespeare for the modern Englishman

The Skinhead’s Hamlet

Ah Internet, is there nothing you can’t destroy? An excerpt from the modern Hamlet:

ACT III SCENE II

Gertrude’s Bedchamber.
Enter HAMLET, to GERTRUDE.
HAMLET: Oi! Slag!
GERTRUDE: Watch your fucking mouth, kid!
POLONIUS: (From behind the curtain) Too right.
HAMLET: Who the fuck was that?
(He stabs POLONIUS through the arras.)
POLONIUS: Fuck!
HAMLET: Fuck! I thought it was that other wanker.
(Exeunt.)

 

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Hosanna

Did you know that the History Channel’s new shows based on the Bible and on Vikings kicked the living crap out of the other shows on TV that night? Ratings-wise, I mean. Still, several wags in the comments on that article continue to insist that Jesus was a zombie.

Clearly that is untrue. Jesus came back from the dead, sparkled in the sunlight, and drinking his blood transformed people into his minions. He was obviously a vampire.

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Quo vadis?

In case anyone was wondering what I’ve been up to. Did you know Red Dead Redemption lets you hog-tie an innocent woman and leave her on some train tracks to get run over? And you can also capture the entire population of a small town and leave them wriggling in impotent desperation while a train comes bearing down the tracks at them?

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The return of Tarantino

Did Django Unchained really have a 2h 45min running time? Because damn, I didn’t notice. In case you were wondering, that haunting Italian song in the middle of the movie was Ancora Qui by Ennio Morricone and Elisa (some Italian singer). The movie and the song are much recommended by yours truly.

 

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Free at last

Gawyn. You died just like you lived. Stupidly.

I have finally finished the last book in The Wheel of Time series. The series was bloated and Jabba-like in its wordiness; I curse myself for getting stuck in its sunken cost fallacy. The last book was actually somewhat satisfying. However, for as long as I live I will never read the series again.

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Be like water, my friend

I’ve just had to find a new video link for the trailer for The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, which I discuss on the post linked. The original uploader apparently set the video to private, meaning I had to see if someone else posted the same trailer to Youtube. It’s easy to forget how ephemeral stuff online is but when big stuff like the deletion of Geocities happens people get a big kick in the pants reminding them that uploaded stuff is always in danger of disappearing. Good thing the Internet Archive and its Wayback Machine exists, we sorely need their help if future generations are ever to understand the history of the Internet.

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