Lord of the Rings: The Extended Edition Extended

Oh man, someone edited The Fellowship of the Ring so that every time Sam takes a step toward Mordor, he remarks that it’s the farthest from home he’s ever been. The edit is 9 hours and 18 minutes long. Again, this is only the first movie, and for the first 37:39 minutes it’s exactly what you’ve seen before.

But then we reach the scene where Sam leaves the Shire at 37:39 and the whole thing just takes off. It’s so stupid but I almost hurt myself laughing at how it took almost 6 minutes for Sam to take like 4 steps because at every step he pointed out that it’s the furthest he’s ever been from home.

Helpful Youtube commenter Mr. Wallet posted the highlights:

I finished watching the whole thing at 1x speed, so I want to share some of my favorite timestamps for people who don’t want to sit through the entire meme:

As others have noted, the meme starts at 37:39

58:11 and 59:32 Sam is asked questions and can’t stay on topic

1:03:40 Sam is about to be attacked with a scythe and stops to contemplate his distance from home

1:51:55 Sam interrupts a rescue attempt

2:55:15 Sam did want to see the Elves, more than anything, it’s just… This is it.

3:10:30 The entire Council of Elrond scene goes uninterrupted, and then 1 minute after that timestamp Samwise just shouts HEH and busts out of hiding to tell Frodo that this is the farthest he’s ever been

3:15:32 is the start of over an hour of nonstop repeats of the meme. If you get from the start of this video to about 4:30:00 then you will be able make it through the whole thing. I mention it because after 40 minutes of nonstop Sam talking about taking one more step punctuated by half-seconds of blaring music, there’s finally a break at 3:55:14 but it only lasts 10 seconds and then the moment a sliver of Sam’s head comes into frame, he goes right back to it for 20 minutes. If you actually sit through all that misery, it’s a funny moment.

5:19:09 Gimli starts having an emotional breakdown and Sam interrupts to tell Frodo that This Is It

5:32:10 Sam urgently has to tell a dying Frodo that This Is It

6:13:40 the balrog is introduced

6:38:34 Sam is fine with being thrown by Aragorn to escape certain death but first real quick he needs to tell Frodo something

7:14:25 Everyone is in shock over what happens with the balrog (spoiler, don’t watch if that’s a problem) then Sam eventually decides to make it about himself

7:48:37 the fellowship is told to come because someone is waiting and Sam doesn’t care at all that someone is waiting

8:07:15 Frodo sees a vision of the Shire burning, Sam is being marched in chains but the orcs permit him to stop and tell real-Frodo how far he is going to be from home

8:33:40 – 8:48:04 the cathartic climax of the film (probably another spoiler) is mostly ruined by the meme. In particular good moments are 8:40:05, 8:41:50, and 8:42:45

EDIT: Forgot one… 9:10:30 a fitting end to a fitting meme

Robocar: The Future of Not Driving

Zombie Miles And Napa Weekends: How A Week With Chauffeurs Showed The Major Flaw In Our Self-Driving Car Future

Too Long; Didn’t Read: Manufacturers of self-driving cars promise all kinds of amazing crap, but there’s no way to check any of those claims since robocars don’t actually exist yet. But an academic decided hey, a robot car is basically like having a chauffeur, so what if we gave some people a free chauffeur for a week? And then we can see how people might act once they have a car that can drive itself.

Neverending 80’s story

Holy shit, was this the music video for the theme song of The Neverending Story?

The only thing missing is Bastian riding Falcor in the foreground. This video needs a goddamn albino luck dragon, by damn!

Ode to Oblivion

The story behind the Oblivion mod Terry Pratchett worked on

The only Pratchett books I’ve read are The Long Earth books he collaborated on, but I found this article interesting anyway. The mod in question is for a custom companion you can get for Oblivion. The part where you can get her to lead you if you’re lost, or have her pick a destination for you at random, actually sounds like it would have been neat to have in the base game. Anyway, it’s not every mod that has dialogue written by a bestselling fantasy author.

Not the Renaissance

I just discovered the Reddit community r/AccidentalRenaissance and boy, this is some top shelf stuff. People post modern pics that resemble Renaissance paintings in composition and whatnot. I suggest filtering for the top-rated posts, as some people’s definition of a Renaissance painting is along the lines of “neat picture from a basketball game”.

My favourite of the recent posts is of a British soldier at a wedding checking his cellphone:

Beauty is truth, truth beauty

Just here to post an interesting little interview I found with Kim Stanley Robinson (author of one of my favourite science fiction books, The Years of Rice and Salt. I especially liked his observation on the cultural construction of beauty:

SP: I wonder if we would develop a different sense of beauty if we went out into the Solar System. When we think of natural beauty, we tend to think of gorgeous landscapes like mountains or deserts. But out in the Solar System, on another planet or a moon, would our experience of awe and wonder be different?

KSR: You can go back to the 18th century when mountains were not regarded as beautiful. Edmund Burke and the other philosophers talked about the sublime. So the beautiful has to do with shapeliness and symmetry and with the human face and figure. Through the Middle Ages, mountains were seen as horrible wastelands where God had forgotten what to do. Then in the Romantic period, they became sublime, where you have not quite beauty but a combination of beauty and terror. Your senses are telling you, “This is dangerous,” and your rational mind is saying, “No, I’m on a ledge, but I’ve got a railing. It looks dangerous, but it’s not.” You get this thrilling sensation that is not beauty but is the sublime. The Solar System is a very sublime place.