[T]o Squirrel Girl, greatest superhero ever. And, yes, she did defeat Thanos single-handedly. It’s in continuity. Deal with it.
— A. Lee Martinez, in the dedication to the novel Divine Misfortune
Thanks once more to Scans Daily, see now the shocking revelations of Archie Out of Context. Click on the link if you dare enter into the den of depravity that is Riverdale.
On The Onion AV Club there is a discussion about the first film that participants have seen. I couldn’t contribute anything in my case because I honestly have no idea what my first movie is. I have seen hundreds upon hundreds of movies in my life and would be hard-pressed to tell you which specific movie was my first ever. I’m not even sure if it’s something I saw on video or at the movie theatre.
However, this realization also brought to light the fact that I have no idea how much media I consume beyond the vague estimate of “hundreds” in the case of movies. Therefore, I have a new project for myself: between now and the end of August of next year, I will count what and how many novels, movies, tv shows, and comic books I consume. I’ll even list what I’ve consumed in a given month.
Luckily August has only started so I still remember what I’ve consumed so far. Anyway, this project should be very instructive.
Books: Started reading Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson
Comic Books: Gokuko no Brynhildr #21, Sket Dance #204, Otogi no Machi no Rena #49, The World God Only Knows #197
The esteemed sages of DC Comics ask that eternal question which has plagued countless philosophers for millennia:
Yes, why is Lois lashing a wooden puppet of Superman? Buddhist apocrypha holds that the Sakkyamuni Buddha pondered that very question under the bodhi tree. Husserl was said to have stared at this comic book cover when he got bored of staring at his copper ashtray.
So what was the reason for this shocking act of kryptonite bondage?
It was simply Lois attempting to drive an evil spirit out of Superman’s body and into a wooden simulacrum. That clears up that mystery.
Okay, I’ve had time to sleep on it and I have to admit that The Dark Knight Rises is better than I thought it was. It’s already the next day and I’m still thinking about it. I’m reading online reviews and discussions about the themes and characters, so evidently the movie is one of those slow-burning ones where it takes you a while to fully digest everything. I’m revising my opinion upward.
I just saw The Dark Knight Rises. It’s an interesting little blockbuster.
All in all, I would say I liked it. I think the second was superior but I also think this film is better than the first. However, in the years since The Dark Knight I’d forgotten how melodramatic the dialogue in Nolan’s Batman films could be. It also had a somewhat clumsy thematic link to the Occupy Movement, the story being based mostly on the No Man’s Land arc from the comics, where Gotham City is cut off from the rest of the United States and anarchy rules the land.
I do think a stronger thematic connection could have been made between the villain, Bane, and Batman, particularly since they are both figures who deliberately disregard established social structures, but perhaps it’s better that link shouldn’t be returned to when it was used so well in The Dark Knight (the link being violence and insanity in that case).
The movie was good, not great, which makes it sound somewhat disappointing for what’s supposed to be a summer blockbuster, but then again, I can’t remember the last time I exited a movie theatre thinking, “That was awesome!” Perhaps I’m just picky.
Homo sacer: a human being who exists solely to be brutalized and killed.
Girlfriend: in superhero comic books, a human being who exists solely to be brutalized and killed.
A realization that occurred to me when reading through fan reactions to the stunt announcement that Green Lantern is gay (but not the famous one, merely the second tier character that no one is familiar with).
Good god, this thing is hilarious. An excerpt:
So, you’re a teacher at a school where mutant kids can learn to control their powers. What tricks do you use to keep your powers under control?
I don’t. I have a special pair of glasses that does it for me.
Without them, I am helpless and blind.
Well, designing them must have taken considerable ingenui—
I didn’t design them. The Professor did.
Oh. Well, that was kind of him. He also asked you to lead his team of mutant superheroes, the X-men, from their inception. What qualities led him to trust you to lead at such a young age?
I am a natural leader.
Er, yes. How so?
I am very good at leadership.
But what aspects of leadership?
The part where I am the leader of the team.
Let’s try this another way. How did a teenager handle the responsibility of making decisions under pressure without Xavier’s help?
By asking him psychically what to do.
For the first few years, he stayed in constant contact with the entire team using his psychic powers every time we went on a mission. He would come up with plans, coordinate our actions, and make critical decisions in the heat of battle.
Oh. Um. Well, what did you do?
I led the team.
What were your responsibilities as team leader, I mean?
I would tell them to carry out the Professor’s orders, mostly.
So, the Professor would come up with a plan, and you would say, “do that?”
Yes. With my natural leadership skills, it was easy.
You know, I just realized this but Peter Parker’s photography career consists entirely of selling pictures of himself in a zentai suit.
Finally, all of the posts and comments from Sarapen II have been imported here. At last, my blog is whole once again. None shall stand before me!
Or not. Say, does anyone out there remember the Infinity War crossover mini-series from the 1980s? No? It was pretty fun as long as you checked your brain at the door. Man, check out how wordy comics were back then. Like a third of the picture is nothing but words, almost all of them unnecessary. Purple dude gets a magic glove, how many words does it take to describe that?
Magus there used to have a totally sweet afro, though, instead of that chasen-gami samurai topknot he has in the pic. And damn if he isn’t afraid of rocking the codpiece and the hot pants. Now that’s a man who deserves to be ruler of the universe. If you’re too much of a wussy to even wear short shorts in public, how could you be trusted to wield the Infinity Gauntlet responsibly?