Morituri te salutant

Last night I saw a mouse ducking under the stove as I walked into the kitchen. Thirty minutes ago I set a mouse trap and baited it with peanut butter.

So begins a contest of wills between man and beast. This will only end in the destruction of one or the other – to the victor, glory; to the loser, death.

The Further Adventures of Terrifica

The Womb: Terrifica vs Fantastico album coverI don’t think I can express how much I like Terrifica, my favourite Real-Life Superhero. Let’s just say it’s a lot. Who could not like someone who dresses up as a superhero and goes from bar to bar saving women from drunken hook-ups they’ll probably end up regretting? (Besides jerks, of course.)

I haven’t heard about her lately so I assumed she retired. Be that as it may, I just found out a couple of neat things about her.

First, The Womb has a couple of songs about her (remastered version here). They’re free to download, too, though I chipped in on Paypal just because.

Second, Terrifica used to have a website of which no full record exists. She stopped advertising her superhero career on it after a while. She’s also an artist, which explains why her costume is nicer than for a lot of other Real-Life Superheroes. You can actually find out the school where she got her Bachelor of Fine Arts from simple googling if you so desire.

Third, Terrifica apparently trademarked her name and image all the way back in 2000. Well, she applied for it back then, as apparently it takes a few years to trademark things since it wasn’t officially registered until 2004. If anyone out there ever wants to get in touch with our erstwhile superhero, that’s where to find her (more contact info here). Heck, you can look at the actual paper application yourself. The filing makes her sound like a performance artist, which makes perfect sense:

The description provided to the USPTO for TERRIFICA is educational and entertainment services performed by a superhero, namely conducting lectures, seminars, and classes regarding social responsibility to public drinking and victims of intoxication.

Also, a pharmaceutical company abandoned a trademark for the name “Terrifica” which was apparently a thingy for “combined nutritional additive and sweeteners for use in food and beverages for human consumption”. They filed in 2004 and the application is marked as ABANDONED – NO STATEMENT OF USE FILED as of 2006. The little guy wins against the corporation! Terrifica, fighting injustice by her mere existence.

However, Terrifica is menaced by that most insidious supervillain of all: legal bureaucracy. Apparently trademarks need to be renewed between the ninth and tenth year of registration or they will be considered abandoned, meaning it has be done sometime in 2013. I wonder, will our heroine renew her trademark?

Evidently Terrifica (or rather, Sarah) has moved on from this part of her life, so it’s entirely possible she’ll let the trademark lapse.

But stay tuned, dear readers, because I will definitely follow this story.

Superman: Man of dickery

As was foretold by Nostradamus, someone has posted a snarky takedown of the plot holes in Man of Steel. I liked the movie okay but I admit to having low expectations. My good feelings toward the film may also be be as a reaction to the virulent antipathy one of my viewing companions had toward the portrayal of Superman. Have you ever stumbled across the online rantings of a comic book nerd railing against ridiculous minutiae? Watching the movie with this guy was like that, except I was hearing the words come out of an actual person’s mouth.

So I thought the movie was okay but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be better. It was too long, for one thing, and the climactic action spectacle was kind of turning into a mishmash of violence and camera cuts by the end.

But why read what I say, when you can read the snark over at io9?

Samples:

(on Krypton)

Jor-El: Our planet is dying. Clearly, the only solution is to shoot a baby into space.

Lara-El: It’s the only thing that makes sense anymore!

————–

Young Clark: So I’m kind of thinking I should use my powers for good, to help people and stuff.

Pa Kent: HOLY SHIT NO. You must never reveal your powers to anyone! People will figure out you’re an alien! The government will take you away? Got it? You must never help anyone ever.

Young Clark: Even if it’s a schoolbus full of children about to drown?

Pa Kent: Especially if it’s a schoolbus full of children about to drown! You just sit there, and watch them drown, one by one.

Young Clark: That doesn’t seem right.

Pa Kent: And if for some reason someone else saves the bus, IT IS UP TO YOU TO PUSH THAT BUS BACK IN THAT LAKE AND MAKE SURE THOSE CHILDREN DROWN.

Young Clark: Wait, what?

Pa Kent: YOU ARE GOING TO BE A BEACON OF HOPE WHEN YOU GROW UP, CLARK, A BEACON OF HOPE THAT WATCHES CHILDREN DIE WHEN HE COULD HAVE EASILY SAVED THEM.

Continue reading Superman: Man of dickery