Happy Imperialism Day

A.k.a. Victoria Day, traditionally celebrated by oppressing brown people. If you haven’t harassed any brown people today, get to it fast before midnight if you want to stick to the spirit of the holiday. I suggest finding a South Asian convenience store clerk and shouting “God save the Queen from you savages!” at them. If you yourself are brown, be sure to punch yourself in the stomach at least once before the sun goes down.